fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
