There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
