Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
