We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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