He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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