david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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