We're facebook friends in real life
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
