just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
