Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There r osticjed everywhere
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
