All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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