all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
there is glitter all over my balls
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