i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
