He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
