I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I currently don't understand fingers.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
