I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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