I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
