doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This is my gift to your gina
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
