he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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