I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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