Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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