Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
