He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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