Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
