im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
