oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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