remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
