you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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