He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
