...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
