we're blogging at a bar
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
