We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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