end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
