perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
