I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
