I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
