I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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