Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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