I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
