There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
