Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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