I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
