The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
