I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
