I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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