Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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