Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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