He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
