How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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