She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How naked do you want me to be?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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