When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
