Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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